Showbiz Funnies, and etc.
(Galing sa mga paikot-ikot na email sa Internet)
NAP GUTIERREZ INTERVIEWING MANILYN REYNES IN MOVIE MAGAZINE
NAP: Saan ka movie outfit nakakontrata?
MANILYN: So far, hindi ko naman pinoproblema ang mga wardrobes ko kasi ex-deal naman eh.
JULLIE YAP DAZA GUESTING ON VILMA!
JULLIE: O Vi nag-guest na ko dito sa show. Ikaw, kailan ka naman mag-ge-guest sa show ko?
VILMA : Alam mo naman Tita Jullie, busy kami ni Ralph sa pag-a-arrange ng kasal namin. Siguro pagkatapos na lang ng marriage!
If I were to compare the stars of my era with the star discoveries of Dr.Rey dela Cruz, it would be like placing the Taj Majal of India side by side with a Volkswagen. -
CELIA RODRIGUEZ
RITA GOMEZ AS A JUDGE IN A BB. PILIPINAS PAGEANT, ASKING A CANDIDATE A QUESTION DURING THE Q AND A (CANDIDATE INCIDENTALLY IS MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ)
RITA: Here's your question, hija: Are you still a virgin?
MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?
RITA: Good answer!
MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma'am, are you still a virgin?
RITA: Hija I have 5 children with 5 different fathers,what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???
Ang ganda ng gospel number na yon, napaka-enlighting. Teka magpupunas lang ako, I'm sweatening.
- VILMA SANTOS
Thank you, Lucky for the flowers...where did they came from? -
VILMA SANTOS
Being Miss Universe is like having a birthstone, you may lose it. Beinga Filipina is like having a birthmark, it's forever.
- MARGIE MORAN DURING THE Q AND A PORTION OF THE 1973 MISS UNIVERSE, ASKED WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING MISS UNIVERSE AND BEING A FILIPINA
Ang pelikula mong PAYASHO Kuya GERMSH ay bulok, BASHURA, PANISH kaya hindi SHURPRISE na hindi ka nominated SHA BESHT Actor.
- CHARLIE ARCEO
Salamat po sa Board of Judges. Ito na ho yata ang pinakamaligaya kong pasko at manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat.
- MELANIE MARQUEZ'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR WINNING BEST ACTRESS IN A METRO FILMFEST
Successful naman ang libing ng nanay ko.
- BABETTE VILLARUEL
Sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali! Mabait kasi ako eh.
- MR. POGI CONTESTANT'S ANSWER TO THE QUESTION:
ANO SA MUKHA MO ANG PINAKA-ASSET MO?
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Ma. Rosario Liboon, I come from the beautiful city of Pangasinan...City!
- SHE'S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT DURING THE PARADE OF CONTESTANTS
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Carmelita Hernandez, I come from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine! -
ANOTHER SHE'S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT DURING THE PARADE OF CONTESTANTS
BOY A: O Melanie, do you have any message to your mother-in-law incase nanonood siya ngayon!
MELANIE: You know what Kuya Boy, I have to speak in English cause she cannot understand Tagalog. "You know what Mrs. Dee... I've long been wanting to tell you this... Ang labo mo!"
EDU: So who's to blame?
VILMA: Excuse me, it's not my fault anymore. It's your fault anymore!
CHARLIE ARCEO: EXKYUSH me, Ate LUDSH, I have a QUESHTION to ISHNOOKY. ISHNOOKY GUSHTO ko lang SHANANG itanong na...
SNOOKY: (SUMINGIT BEFORE CHARLIE COMPLETES HIS QUESTION) Excuse me Charlie, pero puwede bang isulat mo na lang para malinaw?
OVERHEARD FROM A GIRL NA GALIT SA KARARATING NA BOYFRIEND SA STARBUCKS.
GIRL: My God you're so late. Where did you...Where have you... Where do you... saan ka ba galing???
HOST: WHICH DO YOU PREFER: BLONDE OR DUMB?
GIRL: DUMB NA LANG AT LEAST HINDI AKO MAPAGKAKAMALANG BLONDE!
DESSA AFTER SINGING A SPOT NUMBER IN A REGINE VELASQUEZ CONCERT. DESSA APPARENTLY SANG A VERY VOCALLY CHALLENGING SONG AND AS EXPECTED, ENDED IT WITH A THROAT BREAKING NOTE.
REGINE ENTERS.
DESSA: O kala mo ikaw lang ang mataas ang boses. Kaya mo yun?
REGINE: Eh ano ngayon, maganda ka ba?
SABRINA M. MAKES TARAY TO OSANG IN A TALK SHOW.
SABRINA M: At least hindi naman ako katulad ng iba diyan na retokado ang boobs.
OSANG: Hoy Sabrina, oo nga itong boobs ko retokado. Pero at least ang ngipin ko hindi pustiso tulad ng sa yo! Ooops huwag kang magagalit baka malaglag yan sa sahig!
I am inviting all the televiewers to watch our movie
4 Going Steady on the twenty-twoth of November.... -
Nadia Montenegro
Sana po'y panoorin natin ang
The Life Story Of Julie Vega... alam kong masaya si Julie ngayon dahil it's just around the corner.
– Nadia Montenegro
I am not an addict. I am the victims!
- Melanie Marquez
Host: "Ano ba ang pinaka-favorite mong movie lately, Melanie?"
Melanie: "Maganda yung kay Emma Thompson at Kate Winslet, yung
Simple and Simplicity".
If you're not gonna change this mic, this is going to be my last show!
- Jaya on stage, regarding her mic on the Kuh/Jaya Power of 2 concert, where there was a rumor that Kuh instructed the tech to give Jaya a defective mic
Sikat na sikat ka talaga! Wala akong masabi sa yo. Wala akong masabi lalo na sa kabaduyan mo!
- Ai Ai delas Alas on her concert, with guest April Boy Regino
Magandang Tanghali po, ako po si Luzviminda Cortez mula sa Camarines Sur, sumalangit na po ang inyong kaluluwa!
- Miss Gay Philippines candidate during the parade of candidates
RITA GOMEZ : Good evening, Elvira!
ELVIRA MANAHAN : It was! What's your business here?
RITA GOMEZ : It was plain business until the monkey came.
Rita Gomez guesting on Two for the Road with Elvira Manahan and Nestor Torre
Ladies and gentlemen let's all welcome Miss Sheryl Cruz!
- Martin Nievera presenting Ruffa Gutierrez with this intro on Martin Late At Night
Ladies and gentlemen, take it away with Miss Jean Saburat!
- Joe Quirino presenting Jean Saburit with this intro on Seeing Stars with JQ
More Showbiz quotes:
Alam mo ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to step your foot... ah , forward!
- MELANIE MARQUEZ ANSWERING ATE LUDS' QUESTION: Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?
Ano kasi , she is, I mean she was, kasi past tense na nga pala...
- SNOOKY ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM THE PANEL IN SEE-TRUE
BINIBINING PILIPINAS 70's
Eddie Mercado: Of the three titles at stake, which would you want to win?
Finalist: I want to win the Bb. Pilipinas Universe because it would be an honor to represent the Philippines in the whole Universe!
Alma Moreno wrapping up the conversation with guest Joey Albert in her now defunct show Rated A. Joey de Leon was the co-host.
Alma: So Joey, paki ulit muli yung concert mo sa University of Belt.
Joey de leon : Ness naman eh, kaya tayo pinagtatawanan eh, University Belt
Joey : Ano ang favorite movie mo, Tagalog o English?
Discorama Girl contestant: BOT!
Vic: So favorite mo talaga si Edgar Mortiz!
Joe Quirino: Sharon, are you familiar with the current problems we have in the film industry?
Sharon: Sorry, Tito Joe, I'm afraid not.
JQ: What about you Myra, what can you say?
Myra Manibog: Naku Tito Joe, I'm afraid also!
Joey de Leon: How are you?
Miss Gay Philippines contestant: How are you too!
Eddie Mercado: Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million dollar, would you also do the same?
Melanie Marquez: NO, of course no, because I am proud and contented with my long legged.
(With this answer, she bagged the crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978).
Joe Cantada : So Atoy, what are your prospects now, mukhang makakayanan kayo ng Toyota this coming semi-finals round...
Atoy Co : Well Joe, the ball is around!
PBA anchor : So sino sa tingin mo Arnie ang may appeal sa iyong artista natin?
Arnie Tuadles (SLN): Si JEN siyempre!
Anchor: Sinong Jen?
Arnie T: Si JEN SABURIT.
SA GERMSPECIAL... debut ni Janice de Belen!
Kuya Germs: Happy Birthday Janice, Ana, may sasabihin ka pa?
Ana Margarita Gonzales (sister ni Kring-Kring): Ilan taon ka na ngayon, Janice?
Snooky and Tom Babauta guesting on Germspecial
Kuya Germs: Do you love Phuilippines?
Tom: Yes Kuya Germs.
Kuya Germs: Have you ah made love to a Filipina?
Lydia immediately after winning against PT Usha of India for the Century Dash in 1984 Asian Games.
Reporter: What happened Lydia, mukhang bumanat ka sa ending.
Lydia: OO nga, mabilis siya, but you know, I ran and I fast!
Joey de Leon: Ano sa tingin mo ang katangian mo na iba sa mga kalaban mo?
Miss Gay Philippines Contestant: Unang-una, isa akong tunay na Babaeng Pilipina na handang maglingkod sa bayan. Alam ko na ang isang Gay na katulad ko ay maaring maging halimbawa sa lipunan. OO nga kami'y pinagtatawanan subalit may karapatan din naman kaming mabuhay para hindi lamang sa sarili kundi para sa mga taong aming mapaglilingkuran.
Joey: So Ano nga ang katangian iba sa iyo?
Contestant: Palangiti ako.
Vic: Kahit walang tao?
Isang panelist sa See-True: Paano mo nabibigyan buhay ang pag-bobold?
Coca Nicolas: Pinaiinum ako ni Tito Rey ng FONDADOR.
Joey de Leon: Ano ang masasabi mo sa katayuan ng mga katulad mo sa lipunan, sabi nila... blah, blah, blah..
Miss Gay Phil Contestant: (panay ang ngiti at halatang kinakabahan...) Unang una Joey at Vic, Magandang tanghali sa inyong lahat. Pwedeng pakiulit yung tanong?
New Year's presentation ng See True:
Ate Luds: O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada?
Madam Auring: Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno!
Kinabukasan, HEADLINE: STELLA STRADA COMMITS SUICIDE!
Currently listening to: Wang Chung's Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Currently feeling: sleepy